Somewhere Between Solo Dreams and Finding the Right Person to Build With
Inside an Entrepreneur's Mind: Letting Go of Lone-Wolf Building and Embracing a New Kind of Partnership
(🎧 Prefer to listen? The audio version can be found here.)
*The video has been included in the bottom since the first time this post was emailed to subscribers.*
When I started my first company, Brenne Whisky, I thought I was building something for us.
Not just for me—for my then-husband and me.
In my very-romantic 20-something mind, I imagined getting the business off the ground, growing it strong, and then having him join me. I thought that’s what building a life together meant.
That dream was squashed early.
I remember sending him an excited email: “Hey! Since you have a finance degree from Stanford — want to help build out the financial model?”
His reply? “You can’t afford me.”
That was the moment I realized: I wasn’t building Brenne with anyone.
I was building an international whisky company. Alone.
It took me five more years—and a lot of solo struggle—before our marriage officially ended. But that moment? That was the real turning point.
That’s when I became a solopreneur. Not by a vision board. By necessity.
In hindsight, I’m grateful. Not for how it happened, but for what it made possible. That “trial by fire” taught me more than any MBA ever could. I learned how to do everything — because I had to. There was no one else on the inside to actually know the business. No one else to figure things out. Just me; stubborn, scrappy, and trusting of myself that I’d make it work. And thankfully, I did.
Now, in my early 40s, standing on the brink of building something new, I look back at my 20-something-year-old self with awe.
She didn’t have a big community. She didn’t have deep wells of wisdom or the emotional safety net of a lot of people who believed in her without condition.
She had grit. And she built a dream on that alone.
Today, I’m building again—and everything feels different.
I have confidence in both my knowing and my not-knowing. I have a wonderfully supportive (new) husband. I have a business partner whose mind and heart inspire me DAILY. I consciously & strategically built a large community over the years filled with authentic, honest, brilliant humans—who remind me daily that dreams aren’t meant to be carried alone. And, to my great surprise and honor, I have you.
This time, I’m not starting from scarcity.
I’m starting from richness.
Richness of soul.
Richness of support.
Richness of possibility.
Ok … this is the part where I call Sam
(And everything starts unfolding!)
When I finished a coaching session with Kel — you know, the coach-slash-psychic from this article — I picked up the phone and called Sam. The extraordinary, brilliant, mind-blowingly creative, stunningly gorgeous, and wildly funny Samantha Lim Achatz. (No, I’m not exaggerating. Yes, she’s that good & more.)
As usual, she picked up for me on the first ring. (God, I love her!)
“Hello?” she said—and for once, didn’t immediately launch into some hysterically funny story about her day.
“Hi! I just had a session with Kel and I’m ready to work again—I don’t know what I want to do—but—I was in this deep meditation and one thing became insanely clear: I know I want to do it with you.”
There was a pause. Not a dramatic one. A weighty one. Like a breath before everything changes.
We’ve had “hobby companies” together before. (Some people have tennis, we start businesses, lol!)
But this wasn’t a side hustle and she knew it. This was, as Sam later said, “the kind of thing we’d eventually change our LinkedIns for.”
And in that beat of silence, I felt the gravity of it. I felt what I imagine people feel when they kneel down and wait for the answer they hope will change everything.
She said yes.
When I’ve shared the decision to build a new company with a business partner, nearly every friend in my entrepreneurial circle has asked, “Are you sure?” And honestly, I get it. Founders know the risks. Building a company is hard. Building it with someone else? That’s an advanced-level trust fall. We’ve all seen partnerships implode — and watched the emotional fallout (and hair loss) that follows. I’ve seen entrepreneurs in their 30s go grey before the final term sheet is signed.
But for me (and I can only speak for me), I’ve already done the solopreneur thing in the CPG space. It was meaningful… and lonely. It’s a special kind of madness to hold the entire vision, strategy, execution, finances, and five-year plan in your own head, day after day, while still trying to remember to pay rent and call any of your missed calls back.
And here’s the truth: I’ve yet to be someone to repeat themself. Each life is precious — and I want to eat from the full buffet of experience. So this time, I’m not just building differently. I’m building with someone. Someone I trust implicitly, admire immensely, am courageous enough to make mistakes around, and bonus — makes me laugh so hard I forget what I was stressed about in the first place. I know my extreme luck to have found all this in Sam, and I am buzzing to see where this adventure of ours goes.
Business Advice:
Lesson learned: Who you build with matters even more than what you build. Choosing a partner(s) with whom to go into business is like choosing someone to marry — you need someone who you trust no matter what, who you can ride the bad times with just like the good, who you know - no matter what - will always have yours and your company’s backs and you will do the same for them. Someone who you’d risk your entire reputation on. When you find that person, celebrate that wholly and feel into the deep gratitude that you’ve both just found a true diamond in a haystack.
Real World Tip: Choose partners based on shared values, deep-trust, and mutual respect. Skills matter, but integrity is non-negotiable.
VIDEO: Extra Thoughts After I Hit Publish
Your turn:
When it comes to taking action on something you’ve envisioned — a project, a business, a life shift — do you prefer to build quietly by yourself or collaboratively? If the later, in an official capacity or in a “can I bounce this off you” kind of way?
Use it as a journal prompt. Or tell me in the comments! (You know I love hearing from you!)
As always, to Be Continued…
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Love hearing BTS like this and learning more about your journey Allison. Look forward to seeing what you cook up next!