Between Anticipation and The Start of a Trip
A thought exercise around anticipation & the control we have in creating more awe, enjoyment and inspiration. Make sure you are subscribed to get the next post of applying this to the business world!
Hello from somewhere between what I am showing up to and how I am choosing to showing up to it — Travel Edition.
This week I keep feeling as though I am somewhere between going and being there. I have had exactly one week to settle back into NYC after summer travel and boarding a flight to Europe for my annual month abroad. Living this way—claiming one of the best cities in the world as home while traveling to countries, cities, and natural wonders for work and play—is my dream. And like all dreams, the realities of them come with a few costs.
Traveling as frequently as I do makes it impossible to have any regular weekly routine. I’ve never been able to participate in a book club or a weekly fitness class, for example. It also means that time at home is used primarily to help me recover from my previous trip and gear up for the next one. This puts pressure on my schedule to maximize both opportunities to connect with my home-based community and also get the required space to significantly quite my stimuli. The “road-warrior” life is not a choice for everyone, regardless of how “glamorous the gram” may make it seem. Though thankfully for me, it has been a great and exciting for the past 20 years.
So as I publish this, I’m physically in New York wearing my favorite jeans and watching the end of Summer’s long sun rays paint the city in shades of pale yellow and neon orange. Here, I know how to play the game of productivity well; crossing off tasks and chasing accomplishments with such focus some days it feels as if there is an active score card above my head that everyone can watch in realtime while I compete for Best Score.
Simultaneously, I’m mentally strolling the streets of Istanbul in a Negroni-colored maxi dress, feeling the sweater that I casually wrapped around my shoulders slide off unexpectedly as I look up at the night sky. Or, I’m sitting along the banks of the Seine with my sweet husband, sipping a great bottle of wine from plastic cups as we listen to the symphony of the French language swirl around us. This anticipation of the future is exciting, if also distracting. A feeling that many of us know well.
Earlier this week, when explaining over the phone my sense of utter and complete overwhelm after having tabled this article yet again in favor of doing what felt like one million other things, a wise friend reminded me of something important: “We’re supposed to be in the era of working on exactly what projects we want [that feed our souls], not overextending ourselves to constantly accommodate [our lengthy To Do’s and] others at every turn.” It’s a challenge to focus on our own desires in a world where we’re constantly juggling responsibilities (especially when you are a get-shit-done’er and a people pleaser… I see you, my twins!). But it’s also a reminder to stop, listen, and recalibrate—especially in these transitional moments.
So here I am—stuck between having completing (some might say masterfully!) all of the travel-related To Do’s and yet not being there, knowing it’s still too early to flip on any sort of “out of office” replies. It’s in this space I asked myself: What, specifically, am I so excited about?
The answer came quickly: The possibility of sharing magical, awe-inspiring moments with others.
What struck me about this is that it wasn’t a physical thing I could point to. Like, for instance, saying, “Having a traditional Turkish Hammam experience!” Or “visiting ____ palace/monument/museum!” (Which I am excited to do all of those things). My answer was not about the what but instead about the feeling and more true, the energy. ** This got me thinking just how significant the energy we choose to bring into every experience is, no matter how awe inspiring the place. I am thinking how much stronger the impact is when all who you are sharing the experience with come into it with a sense of authentic fascination.
Imagine showing up to stand in front of the Mona Lisa for the first time with a few friends. One shrugs and says something like, “eh, I’m surprised it’s so small.” Another rolls their eyes at the number of people you all are standing amongst. The third is standing there, almost transfixed as if they don’t even notice all of the cell phones clicking around them and instead, seem to be totally absorbed into the magnitude of the masterpiece itself. Is that a tear you catch in the corner of their eye? How moving it is to even witness someone being so moved! Now, who would you want to stand next to? Deeper than that, who in that description would you want to be?
I wonder that while the places we travel to certainly are important and hold lots of significance for a variety of reasons, that what is perhaps even more important to travel is how each of us show up. What if, in preparation to events, we spend a little less time planning and researching the “most perfect” itinerary and a little more time thinking consciously about how we will show up? What energy we will bring? Will we lament and share stories that drag people down with our misery train? Will we become annoyed at other’s around us who are there to experience the same things as us at the same time? Or will we be able to stand in the wonder of it all?
My husband, Clint, often says that experiences are more meaningful when shared with people you’ll see again. This keeps the memory alive, allowing you to relive it together. When I think about what I am anticipating the most, it’s going to these places with people who are all awe-seekers, each capable of turning an ordinary moment into something extraordinary.
As someone who has spent the past 20 years (omg has time flown!) traveling, often solo for work, I deeply enjoy observing how people behave when they are outside of their homes and routines. When traveling, I see 4 main types of people:
The Disconnected: Those going through the motions—often teens reluctantly being dragged along or people fulfilling obligations they’d rather avoid. Sometimes people join this group when an itinerary is too intense and they become mentally and/or physically exhausted to care.
The Disappointed: These individuals are abundant in travel and perhaps most easily found en-mass frustrated at any customer service desk. They are travelers whose expectations don’t align with reality. They are the ones easily frustrated and do not handle a change in plans (be it in or out of their control) with any sort of ease and use the words, “it was good but” often before launching into all that went wrong.
The Delayed: They are so focused on “what’s next” that they miss the beauty of the moments happening around them. Their fixation on the future delays their own enjoyment—and likely that of those traveling with them.
The Delighted (aka: Magic Group!): The awe-seekers. The ones who roll with the punches, adapt to the unexpected, and find joy in every moment. They are the magic-makers.
It may come as no surprise to those who may know me personally or who follow me on instagram that I am personally committed to being part of the forth group. I consciously choose to start each day trying to see everything as a miracle (*scroll down to one of my favorite Einstein quotes). To do this authentically requires someone to truly know themselves. The Delighted are able to continue showing up in this way only if they are able to set and respect boundaries to rest, disconnect, care for themselves, and recharge. Being in this group requires an awareness to not become overly fatigued energetically, mentally, or physically (or else it’s easy to slip into any of the other categories!).
Here’s the secret: everyone can be inside the Magic Group, not as a put-upon act to appease anyone but as an authentic lens through which you see the world. It’s not an exclusive club! The cost for the membership is the time and pain it takes to do the work. You know the work; the stuff many people are thankfully talking about for self-actualization, self-healing, and being able to be in the matrix of yourself to see your own “stuff” as your own stuff when it comes up (example: see triggers as triggers in the moment verses being triggered by them). This work requires you to have the awareness to see yourself and others as the beautiful, works-in-progress we all are, and also have the courage to make genuine amends when we mess up (because we all will if you’re on the court playing in life!).
That’s the entrance fee for the Magic Group. You’ve got to be willing to look at yourself from the outside and sit with yourself inside in silence to even truly learn who you are. When you do that and if you can hold that in your awareness each day, I don’t know how you don’t look at everything as the miracle all of it is — including your participation and witness to it!
So, as I head off on my adventure, I’m shifting my focus to trying to commit the itinerary to memory to instead, mentally prepping myself to keep up the things that are helping me stay centered right now (for me, that’s my 3x/week runs and daily mediations). I am hoping that if I can get as close as possible to maintaining these rituals, I may be able to set myself up for the best possible success for showing up each day as one of The Delighted ones.
Journal prompt: Whether in life or in business—what might you need to put in place for yourself to use positive anticipation as inspiration to turn the everyday into something extraordinary?
Remember, try not to overbook yourself be it on the road or in your routine, as being one of the Delighted inside the Magic Group is always more fun when we leave space for magic.
Until I write again, cherish each space where dreams interlace.
Happy Wandering — Allison
***Please share & subscribe if any of this resonated with you and I would love to read your thoughts if you want to connect via comments!
❤️
I’ve been fortunate to share such “magical, awe-inspiring moments” with you. Vouching for the way it imprints a memory 🤍